Lastation's Drunken Marriage
by Austin Ga Kill
Summary: After teams RWBY and JNPR find themselves in Gamindustri, Jaune winds up meeting CPU Black Heart. After some time with her in a bar and a (un)forgettable night together, the following morning he learns that they are married.
1. She doesn't have any friends

**Hey guys!**

 **Don here bringing you a fic that was requested on reddit. I am not the most well-versed when it comes with 'Hyperdimension neptunia' but I do love the games and characters so I tried my best with this. I hope you all enjoy.**

Walking around a floating city was not something Jaune expected to be doing really at any point of his life. What was supposed to have been a simple mission of killing a few Grimm in the Emerald Forest had both his team and RWBY falling into a canyon after a series of accidents and waking up in an alley, thereafter.

After checking to see if anyone was injured, they tried checking their scrolls to see where they were. Alas, no service. They were in a foreign land with no reference so the best course of action was to look around to understand where they were.

They did however immediately notice, the fact that they were in the sky, after leaving the alley they had arrived in. They were able to see floating islands in the distance, connected to the one they were currently on by cables.

Of course, they had figured splitting up would be the best way to find information. Splitting into pairs, which seemed like a good idea at the time, till Jaune got separated from Pyrrha by a large crowd of celebrating people. Though he did figure out that there was currently a festival taking place, the chaos and confusion having split him from his partner like it was inviting them to partake in the festivities. He still had no clue.

Jaune pushed through, eventually finding his way to a somewhat barren park and decided to take a rest on a nearby bench. Slouching over he gave out a sigh and mumbled under his breath "What is going on?"

"It's a celebration of the founding of Lastation." a voice answered from behind him causing him to jump up, and spin around.

Standing behind the bench was a beautiful young woman with red eyes and black twintails "And uh… what is Lastation?" Jaune asked.

"Well duh! You're standing in Lastation," she states like it's obvious, and then asked sarcastically "Seriously don't you even know where you are?"

"Nope," Jaune says simply looking around. He stopped looking around and locked eyes with her, "I have no clue where on Remnant we are."

Frowning at him, she asked, "Remnant? What the heck are you talking about?"

Blinking in surprise Jaune looks around the park, then the sky, then back at her, his voice trailing off, "Uh… Well, this is awkward…"

Both of them stand there in silence staring at each other for a few moments before the girl crosses her arms around her chest, and walked up to him, getting right into his face.

"Your messing with me aren't you!" she angrily asked poking him in the chest, her face red with anger.

Stepping back he raised his hands in defense "Nonononononono! I'm not messing with you at all! Just uh…" He told her as he was trying to understand his current situation, "I'm just… confused is all."

She stared at him for a moment before stepping back, the red leaving her face, "Oh... so I guess you're new here then?"

He nodded at her question, trying not to lie, "Yeah my friends, and I just… dropped by here."

She closed her eyes, and turned away from him, and stated like she was doing him a huge favor, "Well then I guess I have no choice but to show you around."

Jaune looked shocked for a second at her offer before smiling,"Really? That would be a big help."

Turning to look at him again she smiled, "Yes really. I wouldn't be much of a…"before closing her mouth and going quiet.

After a few seconds, Jaune asked, "Are you alright?" causing her to jump.

She stammered for a moment before composing herself "I wouldn't be much of a representative of Lastation if I didn't show a guest or possible new citizen around."

Jaune nodded at her answer, "Well thank you for the help," before holding his hand out for a handshake, "My name is Jaune, it's nice to meet you Ms..."

Reaching, and taking his hand "Noire, you can call me Noire."

And with that Noire started showing Jaune around the city, going around the celebrating crowds. She had shown him a few stores, the Lastation Library, adventurer's guild, and then the home of Black Heart, the CPU of Lastation.

That caused Jaune to ask the question, "Hey Noire what is a CPU?"

His question caused her to stop and look at him, gobsmacked, stammering at Jaune's apparent stupidity, "H-h-how DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO THEY ARE!?" She practically shouted at him "They are the four Goddesses who govern and watch over Gamindustri!"

Jaune said in defense as he stepped back at her ferocity, "H-hey sorry, like I said, I'm not from here."

Holding her hand out, Noire caused a sword to appear and held it to Jaune's neck, "Alright, who are you really? Everyone knows who the four goddesses are, so start talking."

Looking around he sees no way out of the situation, as Noire moves the sword closer to his neck causing Jaune to press himself up against the wall of the ally they had been using to cut past the crowds.

Jaune exclaimed in fear, "Alright, I'll explain everything as best as I can, but can you please just put the sword down!?"

Noire stared at his face and body, judging how much he was going to talk about for a moment before sighing and putting her sword back in hammerspace, crossing her arms and watched Jaune, waiting for him to explain.

Jaune answered honestly, relaxing at the sword's disappearance, "Alright, so you might think I'm crazy, but my friends and I are from a different world called Remnant."

She stared at him, expressionless, before sighing. Noire began walking down the alley and told him, "Follow me."

Seeing no choice in the matter, Jaune followed her with the feeling that if he tried to run she would just catch up to him.

After taking a few turns and crossing a crowd, they arrived at a bar placed in an alley. The two of them stepping inside, Noire taking a glance at the bartender who looked mildly surprised at her appearance.

"We will be using the back room. Bring the usual," Noire said as she walked past the bar towards a door. Being the only patrons there the bartender got to work on her request as Jaune follows her to the back room.

The back room was actually just a small room with a booth. Taking a seat on one end of the booth, Noire looked at Jaune, expecantly waiting for him to take the seat across from her.

Once the bartender came to the back with a tray carrying the alcohol Noire requested and left, she poured herself a glass of the wine before taking a sip of it, "Alright. Continue, tell me about your world."

Jaune drew a blank before asking, "Uh… What do you want to know about it?" when nothing else came to mind.

Noire swirled the wine in her glass before taking another sip of her drink, "How does your world function, do you have nations? Are they monarchies? Anything that would not be considered normal."

Jaune assumed a thinking pose before he informed Noire about Remnant, "Well my world has four kingdoms, and the four kingdoms are ruled by councils. We also have Faunus who are like humans, but they have an animal characteristic, like cat's ears or a lizard's scales. We also have Grimm which seem to only hunt humans and Faunus."

Noire pondered what he had said, "So does that mean you have ways to deal with these Grimm?"

"Yeah, the kingdoms have Huntsmen academies that train people to fight Grimm." he informed Noire as she poured herself another glass.

As she drank from the glass, Noire asked, "And how do... you fight them? I-I'd say with swo- _hic!_ -rds seeing as you have one. What else? Guns? _Hic!_ Magic?"

Jaune took a glance down at Crocea Mors "Well it depends on the person. I use a sword, and shield, but I have a friend who uses a scythe that's also a sniper rifle. We don't have magic or anything like that, but we have aura, and semblances."

Now on her third glass she waved him to go on.

"Well aura is like an… internal energy we have that can be unlocked and semblances can be... anything really. Everyone has one unique to them, like super speed or strength, but more… personal," he explained, struggling a bit to explain certain points.

She was through the bottle considerably faster than the previous ones and was nearly done with it, her face blushing a little. With a slight slur, Noire gestured to Jaune, "What about you?"

"I don't have mine yet," he admitted sheepishly.

Noire nodded before downing the rest of her glass. Noire poured another glass, letting out a little giggle before pouring another for Jaune and sliding it over to him, before chugging the rest of the bottle, "Alright - _hic!-_ that's enough business! _Hic!_ Let's celebrate!" She cheered and hollered, causing Jaune to look at the seemingly already-drunk girl.

When he didn't take a drink immediately, Noire slammed her fist on the table which caused Jaune to instantly take it.

Jaune gauged the drink in surprise and he looked back to Noire who was chugging yet another glass before he said, "This is soda…" which caused Noire to freeze.

Noire looked at him in confusion for a second before pouring another one and staring at it, "Hey yeah you're right… this is root beer… Damnit!" She slammed her fist on the table once again, "I told them to - _hic!_ \- stop doing thaaaaat!" whining, drunk before getting up and slamming the door open.

She yelled out at the barkeep, "BRING ME REAL ALCOHOL!" before she slammed the door back shut. Noire pouted as she took a seat before looking at him, shouting, "They don't trust me, Jaune, but I'M THE GODDESS! I CAN HANDLE MY ALCOHOL!"

Jaune just replied with "Uhhh…" to the black haired girl's statement as the bartender came back, this time holding a bottle actually filled with wine and two new glasses. As the barkeep placed them on the table, Jaune leaned over to him and whispered, "I shouldn't have said anything, right?" causing the bartender to just shake his head and walk back out a look of pity on his face for Jaune.

She shakingly poured a glass of the real wine before she looked at Jaune, "I don't - _hic!-_ understand why people always say I - _hic!_ \- don't have any friends!" She told Jaune, taking a big swig of wine, "I do _too_ have friends! _Hic!_ You're my friend now... right?"

Jaune felt bad for her and nodded, causing a big smile to spread across her face, "Sure, we can be friends, Noire."

Her smile became a bit scary as she said, "Yeah that will show Neptune! A-Always saying I'm a loner with no friends." She chuckled to herself before hiccuping again.

She looked at Jaune, noticing that he was still drinking the soda, "Heeeey... why aren't you - _hic!_ \- drinking the wine!?" before pouring him a glass and shoving it to him, somehow not spilling any of it.

Taking the glass from her, he saw her staring at him expectantly. Shrugging, he took the drink before taking a sip of it as Noire gave a cheer.

 _ **Next Morning**_

 _ **With the Beacon students**_

Pyrrha was crying at the fact that the group was not able to find Jaune. Ruby and Nora were trying to comfort her while Ren, Yang, and Weiss were all looking around, talking about what they should do.

"Uhm, guys. You should all take a look at this," Blake said, holding a newspaper as she walked up to them.

 _ **With Uni**_

Taking the elevator up to the floor in the tower that her's and Noire's bedrooms where on, Uni was worried. Earlier she saw people online talking about a particular newspaper issue and had ran to confirm what they had said. After buying one she ran back to the tower to check with Noire to see if it was true,expecting to see Noire awake and going through her usual morning routine. What she didn't expect when walking into the room, however, was seeing a white wedding dress, and other clothes scattered around the room.

Uni let out a scream upon seeing Noire lying in her bed with a blond-haired guy, causing both of them to sit up in fright before seeing each other and letting out a scream themselves before Uni ran out of the room, dropping the newspaper.

Acting on instinct, Noire jumped up out of the bed and exclaimed, "W-w-what are you doing in my bed!?" She let out a scream, noticing that she had no clothes on, grabbing the blanket off of the bed and covering herself with it.

Making sure he was covered with the remainder of the bedsheet, Jaune said what was on his mind, "I don't know!"

They both stopped moving as the adrenaline wore off. They both sank to their knees and clutched their heads as the pain slowly swelled.

After they calm down Jaune looks at Noire "I think I know why they don't let you drink." he told causing her to go red in the face.

"S-shut up!" she stammered out as she pointed a finger at him, "This isn't my fault! You're to bl-blame too!"

Jaune pointed his finger back, countering, "Well, you're the one who wanted to go to a bar!"before both of them noticed the gold bands around their fingers.

Noire then noticed the newspaper on the ground, running over, still covered by the blanket (and leaving Jaune completely naked as she took it) before letting out a scream as she read the head title 'Goddess Black Heart married?' accompanied by a picture of the two of them, Noire in a wedding dress, and Jaune with his hoodie traded for a suit jacket and white tie.

Falling to her knees, she held the newspaper. shaking. Jaune stood up and walked over, covering himself with the bedspread, kneeling down to look at the newspaper.

"How could this happen?" and "Why me?" were some of the things that Noire started muttering in her depression, "The others are gonna start making fun of me when they find out."

She suddenly placed her hands on Jaune's shoulders before she started shaking him back and forth, demanding, "You will take responsibility for your actions, got it!? I refuse to be the first Goddess married only to get divorced the next day!"

Noire stood up, "Work! I need to get to work to help take my mind off of this," before she walked away, leaving a dazed Jaune on the floor. She walked over to the wedding dress on the ground and stopped to pick it up.

Muttering to herself, she put the dress away before grabbing a set of clothing from her closet. She pointed at Jaune as she turned to look at him, before stepping into the bathroom, "Get dressed and wait here."

Hearing the shower run Jaune got up from the floor, finding all of his clothes and put them on before he noticed that he was missing his weapon and armor. "Ah! Where is Crocea Mars!"

Noticing the weapon on a nearby dresser, he ran over and grabbed the blade, checking it to make sure it was fine. After inspecting the sword and making sure the shield still worked, he strapped it to his belt,before trying to see if he could find his armor.

Busy with his search over the next few minutes through the drawers, cabinets, and closet, he didn't hear the shower turn off and Noire stepping out, dressed. She walked close behind Jaune before asking, "What are you doing?"

Jaune was currently on his stomach checking under the bed and jumped in surprise, hitting his head on the bed frame, causing him to hold it in pain, and groaned through the discomfort of the bump, "Hngh… I was looking for my armor... agh..."

Noire looked at him and took notice of his hoodie, smirking, trying to hold back her laughter, "Is that a bunny?"

The pain faded away and he nodded up at her as he came out from under the bed, "Yeah my sisters got it for me," a smile appearing on his face thinking about his little sisters saving up all of those Pumpkin Pete box tops.

"I see," Noire said before walking over to the door, "Come on, I have things to do today."

Getting up, figuring he could find his armor later, he ran after her, catching up quickly since she was only walking, "So uh… You go by 'Black Heart' too?"

Looking at him over her shoulder "Yes I do." before she knocks on a nearby door "Uni are you in there?" she asked through the door.

Shuffling was heard from inside before the door opened, followed by Uni's appearance, "I'm here, Noire." She jumped upon seeing Jaune standing there beside the Goddess. Blushing, she gave a little bow. "Oh, hello. I'm Uni, CPU candidate for Lastation."

Surprised at the greeting, Jaune bowed back and responded back, "Yea-hi-hello. I'm Jaune Arc. It's nice to… uh... meet you."

Noire asked, holding up the newspaper, "Uni, where did you get this?"

"Oh, I saw posts online about some people talking about it, so I went out and bought one so I could show you," she informed Noire, "I thought it was just a tabloid, but I figured you would want to know about the rumor."

Noire looked at her ring, "Yes, well apparently it's true," she told her little sister before looking at Jaune, "Your gonna take responsibility for this, Jaune. I refuse to let the others see this as weakness." She grinned as she thought to herself, "Yes maybe I can use this to my advantage."

Uni looked at Jaune, "I'm sorry if you got wrapped up in this somehow, sir."

Jaune took the blame as he raised a hand, waving her apology off, "No, I think it might be my fault she got as drunk as she did."

Uni frowned as he continued to explain, Uni's face changing to one of understanding, "I mean she was helping me with a problem, and we were talking in a bar, and I was the one who pointed out the bartender gave her soda, not alcohol."

"Yeah, that sounds like Noire. She's gotten drunk off of root beer once so the people of Lastation tends to swap her alcohol with it when serving her, kind of an unspoken law," she told him, causing Noire to gasp.

"What!?" Noire exclaimed, "I can handle my alcohol!"

She tried to defend herself before what happened dawned on her again and she slouched over.

Jaune shouted out in realization, causing the other two to jump, "WAIT! My friends are probably worried about me!"

Noire nodded and Uni was confused. Noire looked at Jaune and asked, "Well do you know how to get to where they are?"

Jaune paused before shaking his head, "No. All I remember is that it was an alley near that park, and I think there was a red neon sign that had a disc on it nearby." he confessed.

Noire looks at Uni "You know where that is?" she asked as Uni nods.

"Yeah, the shop that has the neon sign is a game shop that Nepgear, and I go to sometimes when she, and Neptune visit," Uni told her.

"Alright, can you go, and bring his friends here?" Noire asked.

Jaune piped in, "Look for a group of girls and a guy with a pink streak in his black hair."

"Pink streak, gotcha," Uni said, giving him thumbs before disappearing into her room before coming back out and closing her door. With a wave, she ran down the hallway.

Watching her disappear into the elevator Noire motioned for Jaune to follow her. Walking towards the elevator themselves, they waited for it to come back up and Noire told him as they did, "So I know I said I would help you out last night, but I don't think I can let you leave now."

"What!?" Jaune exclaimed. "But my friends! I-I have to go back! We have lives there!" causing Noire to frown at him.

"Yeah, well now _we_ ," she gestured to them, _"_ are _married_ , and _I_ have a public image I need to keep!" she told him, causing to frown back at her, "So I can't help you go back."

The elevator dinged as it arrived once the two stepped inside, Noire hit the button to her office at the top of the tower. "Well how about a deal, then?" Jaune proposed, getting Noire's attention.

"Hmm, a deal?" Noire asked with interest in her voice.

Jaune bit his lips, stealing his nerves, "Alright... so if you help my friends get home... I will stay." he finished, getting her to smile.

She asked him, with reasonable skepticism in her voice, "And how do I know you won't just leave with them if I find a way to get them back?"

Looking Noire dead in the eye, Jaune held out his hand, "If you can find a way to get them back to Remnant, I will stay. I promise. An Arc always keeps his word."

She holds the stare for a moment before accepting his hand with a satisfied smile on her face, "We have a deal then, Mr. Arc."

Just then, the door for the elevator opened. Stepping out, Noire released a scream. The office was a mess, papers strewn everywhere, books fallen off the bookshelves.

"Hey, my armor," Jaune pointed out, his armor on the ground with the suit jacket and tie from the picture next to Noire's desk. He went over to pick them up as Noire was panicking about the mess. As he grabbed them, he noticed something underneath as Noire picked up a paper.

"I think I found our marriage certificate," Noire said, looking at the paper, noticing both of their (somewhat messy) signatures on it before she looked at Jaune who was currently grabbing what was under his armor.

Picking it up, he noticed that it seemed to be some kind of article of clothing. Upon unfolding it he heard Noire give a scream once again as his face went red with embarrassment, dropping what he now knew were Noire's panties.

 _ **With Uni**_

Walking down the street Uni sees the game store with a neon sign on the front. Looking down the alleys she finally saw one that had a group of people crowding around a newspaper. Walking over to them she noticed one of them was a guy with a pink streak.

Walking up to them, she poked him in the shoulder, "Hello?" she said, causing them all to jump, and a few of them to reach their hands towards their weapons.

"Uh... are you Mr. Arc's friends?" she asked them.

Ren looked back at the rest of them before turning at Uni, "Yes, we are Jaune's friends. Do you know where he is, miss?"

Uni smiled at him, "Yep. He and my sister asked me to come to get you and take all of you to them," she said, causing the ginger hair girl to glomp her.

"Your gonna take us to Jaune _Jaune_!?" she excitedly asked Uni, shaking her.

Ren put a hand on her shoulder, "Nora, I don't think she can take us anywhere with you shaking her," which caused the girl to stop before Ren looked at Uni, "I'm sorry about my friend, miss. Can you please take us to him, we all have been very worried about him."

Once she got her bearings straight, Uni nodded, "Yeah, sure, follow me," she turned and walked out of the alley, still a bit wobbly.

 _ **Back with Jaune and Noire**_

Arriving back at the tower, they all squeezed inside the elevator, Uni making sure to stay far away from the girl she now knew as Nora after they all did their introductions on the way.

Once the elevator arrived at the top, they noticed Noire sitting at her desk, face planted on the desk as she let out a groan, while Jaune was making himself useful and was putting away the books that had fallen onto the floor.

Uni stepped out of the elevator, deciding to test the waters as she announced, "I'm back Noire, Bro."

Noire only gave a groan as Jaune looked over at Unias the others stepped out of the elevator. He greeted them with a smile on his face, books in his hands, "Hey guys."

Before anything else could be said, he was attacked by 3 red blurs. Well... only two. Ruby just hopped excitedly nearby him as he was tackled to the ground by Pyrrha and Nora,Pyrrha crying into his shirt and Nora talking so fast that Jaune couldn't quite understand what she was saying.

Hearing the impact of Jaune's body hitting the floor, Noire lifted her head off of her desk. Seeing the man that was now her husband with two girls on top of him caused her to stand up and slam her hands down onto her desk, "HEY!"

She shouted at the two of them, causing Pyrrha to stop crying, Nora to stop talking, and both of them to look at her.

"Get off of him," she said firmly, becoming a bit jealous. Sure, she barely knew the guy, but she was a Goddess and he was her man now. She wasn't just going to let some random women be all over him!

 **And there we go. A plenty long first chapter, I think. This was my first time writing something for 'Hyperdimension Neptunia', so I hope I did Noire and Uni justice for their characters as well as I could. That rootbeer thing was a reference to a fairly popular voice line from Megadimension. If you all enjoyed and want to see more, you should know what to do. Huge thanks to Aldo7Aces for beta'ing for me, and making the fic a lot better. There was a lot of work he did to help. Go check him, and his story 'Amiable Youth', out he is a great writer.**


	2. Well that simplifies things

**ALRIGHT, hey everyone it's Don back with another chapter of Lastation drunken marriage. I was happy with the reviews I got on the first chapter, and so I decided to update this before something else. Sorry if this chapter is a bit shorter than the last, but I think this chapter went pretty well, and I hope you all enjoy it.**

"Hey it's the homewrecker!" Nora exclaimed as she saw Noire.

"H-h-homewrecker!? I will have you know I am the CPU of Lastation!" Noire stuttered out, her face flushed.

Pyrrha and Nora get off of Jaune only for Nora to get a threatening look on her face as she cracked her knuckles "You stole our Jaune-Jaune from us!"

Pyrrha also had a frown on her face as she reached for her weapons, but before anything could happen Jaune came between them and Noire, his hands held up "Alright let's calm down."

Team RWBY didn't do anything except for Ruby who put a hand on Crescent Rose as Ren moved to be ready to help Jaune calm them down if needed while Uni moved closer to Noire ready to take her gun out of hammerspace for her defense.

"Move out of the way, Jaune," Pyrrha said seriously.

"Do you really think you can stand up to a goddess like me?" Noire asked smugly as she entered her HDD form.

Hearing this, Jaune turned to see the form of Black Heart behind him, her large sword at the ready while the others, besides Uni, stood there wide-eyed and gobsmacked.

"Um…what?" Jaune mumbled, reasonably surprised.

"Come now, Jaune, you can't recognize your goddess of a wife?" Black Heart smirked as she saw their surprise before she pointed her sword at them.

Seeing Nora, and Pyrrha glance at each other she laughed before she taunted them "Oh come now, what happened to all that bravado? Did the realization of your imminent loss frighten you?"

Hearing this, the two of them readied their weapons again, but before either of them could do something, Jaune gave them a stern look. After a moment, the two of them relented, and put their weapons away.

Black Heart was about to say something mocking before Jaune turned to look at her. Unlike the others, she challenged Jaune, a smirk still on her face. After a minute of staring at each other, Jaune sighed, "Noire, can you please not instigate my team? You promised to help them, not fight them."

"Oh, I know I did, but they challenged me, and I was only showing them who's in charge here," Black Heart said before she changed back to Noire.

On the side Yang leaned over to Weiss and Blake and gave a whistle, "Wow. I never thought I would see Jaune look manly like that."

After she said it, Weiss snorted and Blake nodded, "Well he did handle that well enough. I suppose that's one of the reasons why he was made team leader."

Ren, who had stepped back as he saw Jaune had it under control looked over his shoulder at them, "Nora and Pyrrha, respect Jaune enough to listen to him."

" _Uni_. Why don't you go show them around the tower while I talk to Jaune about how to get them home," Noire told her little sister as she felt her office was getting crowded and wasn't in the mood to deal with the large group..

Uni nodded as Ruby raised her hand, "As leader of team RWBY, I wanna stay too!"

Noire looked to Jaune for his approval when she heard the declaration, allowing it after seeing him nod, "Fine, you can stay too."

While a few of them wanted to object, a glance from Ruby and Jaune had been able to convince them to do as Noire said. After they piled back into the elevator the team leaders gave them a wave as the elevator started to descend.

"Alright now that they are out of the way let's get down to business," Noire said, taking a seat at her desk again as Ruby and Jaune walked up to it.

But before they could begin their discussion, Ruby was by Noire's side jumping up and down in excitement, "So, how did you transform like that? What was your sword made out of? Oh I never gave you my name, I'm Ruby Rose, nice to meet you. Were those wings? Does your sword have any other fun-"

She was cut off from her questions as Noire put a hand over Ruby's mouth before she sighed and muttered under her breath, "It's like dealing with a hyperactive Neptune…"

"Um Ruby maybe you should calm down, I'm sure Noire would be happy to answer your questions after we figure out what we're going to do," Jaune proposed to the girl.

"Okay, Jaune. That's fine," Ruby said as she took a step back from Noire's hand before zipping back to her spot next to him in a trail of rose petals that left Noire with a grimace.

Noire pushed the thought of having Jaune clean up the rose petals for her to the back of her mind, "Yes... well... getting your group back to your dimension will be important, but shouldn't be too much trouble."

"Really? How are you going to send us back? Do you have some kind of super teleporter that can take us back?" Ruby asked in childlike glee.

"No, but I know someone who might be able to help. Dimensional travel isn't anything new to me," Noire stated, which caused Ruby's excitement to deflate.

Jaune chose to pipe in then, "Are you saying you have done this before, Noire?"

Noire shook her head at his question, "Not in this sense, the times I have dealt with other dimensions was in different situations, and it was more along the line of parallel dimensions than a completely different dimension like yours."

"I will need to get a hold of someone from another nation and speak to her about the matter. She is much more knowledgeable about the subject then I am," Noire informed the two of them.

"Is it a really old scientist?! Or maybe a witch!" Ruby asked in excitement once again.

Only for Noire to shut her excitement down again, "No, it's an Oracle named Histoire."

"Oh… What's an 'Oracle'?" Ruby asked.

"I think an Oracle is someone who sees the future," Jaune answered.

"Actually Oracles for us are people who help CPUs run a nation and will normally take control in our absence," Noire explained to the two of them.

"Oh. So where is yours?" Jaune asked as Ruby nodded to show that she wondered the same thing.

This caused Noire to become a bit embarrassed "Oh, well, you see, I do such a badass job at running Lastation that my Oracle went and started her own business so she would have something to do."

The two of them accepted the answer before Ruby had a new question "So what's a CPU?"

"A CPU is a goddess that is in control of a nation and it's their duty to make sure the nation is happy, safe, and prospering. We get our power from our people, after all," Noire explained to Ruby who gasped at Jaune.

"Jaune you didn't tell me that you know a goddess!" she pointed at her best male friend before she turned, and bowed to Noire.

"I'm sorry if we did anything to make you angry! I will take responsibility for anything my team did! Your team is on you Jaune, sorry," she whispered the last part to Jaune.

This caused Noire to giggle and Jaune to smile at Ruby, "Don't worry Ruby, Noire is a nice goddess. I'm sure everything will be fine," which caused Ruby to sigh in relief and Noire to get a pleasant smile on her face at being complemented.

"So how did you change forms like that? If you don't mind me asking," Ruby queried once again to Noire.

"I was wondering the same thing, you didn't mention anything like that before," Jaune added.

Interlocking her hands on her desk, Noire began her lecture, "Alright so every CPU has a nation they govern and protect. Planeptune to Purple Heart, Leanbox to Green Heart, Lowee to White Heart, and Lastation to myself or Black Heart as I am called. CPUs are powered by Shares which is the faith and belief the people have for their CPU. Using Shares I can turn into my HDD form where I become the goddess known as Black Heart, you understand?"

Jaune nodded, having understood what she said while Ruby was still a bit confused, "So a goddess is powered by her people?"

"Yes that is why it is crucial for a goddess to keep a good public image and take care of their nation, so that our citizens keep their faith in us," Noire said as she gave Ruby a nod.

"That's part of the reason I'm staying after we find a way back home," Jaune added, causing Ruby to gasp and go wide-eyed.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE STAYING!?" Ruby yelled at Jaune, causing him to flinch a bit, but he should of expected that kind of reaction.

Jaune sighed, "It means I can't go back with you guys."

"But-but-but-but what about your team? Your friends? Family? Beacon?" Ruby questioned Jaune at his seemingly crazy decision.

Entering his 'big brother comfort mode' he developed thanks to his little sisters, Jaune gave Ruby a smile, "Well Ruby I goofed up and did something I need to take responsibility of. Noire can't afford to let her popularity go down by having her husband run away. She needs me here so she can stay strong to protect her people, do you understand?"

Ruby looked sad at what he said, eyes watering before nodding, "Yeah I understand Jaune… I-I just don't want to lose the first friend I made at Beacon."

Jaune gave a chuckle before patting her on the shoulder, "Don't worry Ruby. Just because we won't be able to see each other anymore doesn't mean we won't still be friends, and hey, look at it this way: you now also have Noire and Uni as friends too."

"Really?" Ruby looked at Noire for confirmation.

Noire who had stayed quiet during their conversation quickly nodded "YE- I mean of course we can be friends Ruby, I would be happy to have you as a friend."

This made Ruby a tiny bit happier while Noire tried to hide her excitement, " _Yes! A new friend! That will definitely show Neptune I have friends… Wait... she will never believe me if Ruby goes back! Wait... maybe I can... nono, I have no reason to force her to stay…"_

Jaune watched as Noire's face changed from happiness, to sadness, to threatening, then back to sadness while Ruby was lost in thought, still sad with Jaune saying he wouldn't be coming back with them.

The gears began turning in Ruby's mind before she developed a very suspecting look on her face, "Jaune… you aren't staying here cause Noire is a bit similar to Weiss, are you?"

"What!?" both Jaune and Noire shouted at Ruby's question.

"What does she mean, Jaune!?" Noire demanded, turning on Jaune who started to sweat at her glare.

"I-I-I don't know what she means!" he shouted in defense, stepping back, face flushed.

Ruby looked at Noire, suspicion still on her face, "Weiss is one of my team members that Jaune has a crush on, or at least I think he still has a crush on."

Hearing this Noire marched up to Jaune with her hands on her hips "You have a lot of explaining to do."

"Well you see Noire, I kinda, uhh, used to, or um…" Jaune panicked trying to figure out what to say.

"I think Jaune just likes pushy, high class girls with white hair…" Ruby plainly stated to the two of them.

This caused Noire to huff and cross her arms across her chest. She turned away from Jaune, "Well I guess I'm apparently just going to fill a fantasy for you."

Jaune still panicking said the first thing that came to mind, speaking honestly and sincerely, "No-no, no. Noire... I don't have feelings for Weiss anymore... and you're much prettier than she is in both of your forms."

"W-well of course I am, the beauty of a goddess is unrivaled," Noire said, her anger replaced by an arrogant smile, flushed cheeks being the biggest sign that she was happy with hearing what was really on Jaune's mind about her.

Jaune exhaled at seeing her calm down before looking at Ruby who had a smirk on her face, "You only said that because I said I wasn't coming back, didn't you?"

"I don't know whatever you may mean, Vomit Boy," she responded with a giggle.

Giving her a small smile, Jaune responded, "You are a lot more like Yang than others think, Crater Face."

Their little interaction made Noire a little bit jealous as she heard it, not because of how close Ruby was to her husband but the lack of similar relationships on her part, mentally sobbing, _"Why can't I have friends like that?"_

"So what should we do while we wait, Noire?" Ruby asked, which caused Noire to break from her mental sadness and look at them.

"Oh... um, yes. Well, since Jaune told me last night that you and your teams where being trained to fight monsters, I was going to guide you to where the Adventurer's guild was and allow you to take on missions to pass the time," Noire told the two of them, causing Ruby to become excited and Jaune to become a bit worried.

Ruby grabbed Crescent Rose off of her back and caused it to turn into its scythe form, "So what kinds of things will my baby and I get to fight?"

"Mostly likely some small things, nothing too difficult. We don't want any newbies like you and your friends to get hurt or something on a tough mission," Noire informed her, though she had been looking at Crescent Rose as she had said that.

This caused Ruby to deflate a little, "So that would mean...?"

"Mostly likely some Dogoos and a few other weak monsters," Noire said off-handed as she received an email.

While Jaune did relax when she said "weak", he couldn't help but question, "What's a Dogoo?"

Noire responded without looking up from her computer, "It's a pretty weak slime with a dog face."

"I don't know if that sounds cute or terrifying…" Ruby said after she heard that.

"They're more annoying than anything," Noire responded as she typed a response to the email she was just sent from her fellow CPU White Heart about a meeting in the future.

"So is there anything else that we need to talk about?" Jaune asked the other two who shook their heads.

"I suppose we should go save Uni from your teams," Noire said as she sighed. She was not looking forward to dealing with those two red heads again. She hoped that Ruby's team and the other boy weren't as annoying as those two.

But before they could go to the elevator to go find them it was called down. Looking at each other they shrugged and waited for it to return back up.

 _ **With Uni and the others**_

"And that is all of the Basilicom, do any of you have any questions?" Uni said, turning to look at her six followers.

She had showed them all of the places in the Basilicom - excluding Noire's room for privacy reasons - she had taken some time to show off her gun collection though and answered a lot of questions Yang had asked her about them. So far Yang was her favorite alongside Ren, who had once again saved her from Nora who had gone a bit crazy after they walked past their personal kitchen.

Speaking of which, Nora's ever-energetic voice piped up, "Yeah can we eat now? How am I supposed to defend Renny if I am too hungry to move?"

Her whine caused Uni to giggle, and the others to murmur in agreement, "Don't worry, once the others finish talking, then we can all go get something to eat."

Nora gave an exaggerated sigh as Weiss speaks up, "I also have a question, what does your sister do for work? She mentioned being a CPU but what does that entitle."

"Oh well, being a CPU means Noire is the goddess that protects and governs the nation. In our case she is the Goddess Black Heart, who is in charge of the nation of Lastation.," Uni informed, causing them to look surprised.

"Wait you mean… she was speaking the truth? She actually is a goddess? Like the divine kind? Immortal, and everything…" Blake asked as Pyrrha and Nora were starting to go a bit pale in the face.

Uni nodded, "Yes. She was speaking the truth. We are goddesses in the literal sense."

"Wait you said 'we'... does that mean your also a goddess?" Ren asked.

"Yep. You're looking at the CPU candidate of Lastation, Black Sister," Uni proudly stated.

Yang leaned over to Weiss, and Blake once again, "She's a bit tiny for a goddess don't you think?"

Blake chuckled as Weiss had a scandalous look on her face. Uni - who overheard them - immediately covered her chest with her arms, "Shut up! We are _NOT_ talking about that!" which caused Ren to smile, and the other girls to laugh at her expense. Uni changed her mind. Yang was no longer her favorite.

Just then, one of the Basilicom staff walked up to Uni and whispered something into her ear.

Nodding at what she heard Uni looked over at the others, "Would you all mind waiting here? I have to report something to Noire."

Not bothering to wait for a response, Uni ran off to the elevator. Getting in, she hit the button to Noire's office at the top. Once she arrived, she wasn't surprised to see them waiting for her as they must've heard the elevator.

Noire already expected it to be her sister coming up, "Uni we were just about to come find you, did something happen?"

"Noire, I was just given a report that there is a mysterious portal open in Lastation." Uni informed Noire, her face serious.

Noire's face also became serious upon hearing this, "I see... Where is this portal located?"

"That's the thing, it's located directly above the alley where Jaune and his friends showed up," she spoke.

Now Noire's face was one of surprise as she glanced at Jaune and Ruby before looking back at Uni, "Well… that simplifies things... a lot."

"But how did we not notice something like that before?" Ruby asked Jaune who shrugged.

Uni looked at them, "From what I was told it is hard to notice from below, one of the residents in the area noticed it when he was doing work on his roof today, and reported it us."

Jaune looked at Uni and Noire before sighing, turning to Ruby, "Well I guess we need to go tell the others… seems like we won't be able to spend too spend too much longer together now."

Ruby nodded sadly, "Yeah… seems like it…"

"I'll go and check it out while you inform your friends of this," Noire told Jaune and Ruby, a bit sad about her new friend leaving.

Uni looked at the sad team leaders, "Perhaps we should tell them while we eat?"

Jaune nodded, "Yeah it might be easier to tell them about me staying if they are distracted by food. Well... it'll help distract Nora at least... hopefully."

Giving a sad chuckle at Jaune's joke, Ruby nodded as Noire sighed before walking over to her terrace. Noire gave her new friend a final thought before transforming into Black Heart and flying off to check out the portal.

Watching her go, the two team leaders walked into the elevator with the CPU candidate and started thinking of how their friends would react to the news as the elevator started its descent.

Arriving at the bottom, they saw the others standing around the entrance to the Basilicom, talking amongst each other.

Nora and Yang are the first two that notice them walking up, the two of them cheery at their leaders' arrival before noticing Noire missing.

"Hey, where's the homewrecker?" Nora asked, looking around for Noire with a frown on her face. Goddess or not, as far as she was concerned Noire was still a homewrecker for taking Jaune away.

Jaune sighed at this "Nora please stop calling Noire that, she is my wife you know."

Nora just humphs as Weiss looks at Ruby, "Well, are you done with your meeting? Yang and Nora have been complaining about being hungry since you left."

Ruby sheepishly chuckles, "Yeah, sorry guys. We can go get something to eat now."

As Nora and Yang cheer again, Pyrrha looks at Jaune with a raised brow "So where is Noire at?"

"She went to check something out to help us find a portal back home," Jaune replied. He didn't like lying to Pyrrha like that, even if he didn't say he was going to use the portal to go back home he still felt bad with implying that he was.

Uni - who had been standing behind them - overheard and couldn't help but feel bad for Pyrrha. Noire was taking away her team leader and friend. But that was just how things would turn out. Jaune made his decision, and he seemed adamant about keeping it and she wasn't about to stop him.

She was broken away from her thoughts by Nora yelling at her, Jaune, and Pyrrha to hurry up because they needed Uni to guide the way to were they where going.

"Coming!" she yelled to Nora, running past Jaune and Pyrrha. She would just have to wait and see where this goes. Hey, best case scenario she gets an older brother and Noire gets a nice man. So she was feeling confident about the future.

 **Alright there we go end of chapter two of Lastation drunken marriage. Now there are a few things I want to say real fast to help with going into the future. I am having the Basilicom or well the office be the one from the anime adaptation of Neptunia. Also I think I have figured out what timeline I will be going with for this fic also. I'll leave that a bit of a secret for now though. Once again big thanks to my friend Aldo7Aces for beta'ing once again check him out.**

 **This is Aldo7Aces. Apologies for not yet having updated my work. Been rather busy with trying to publish a real book and Marine life… so… busy busy. Hope you guys enjoy the content over on my profile and my work here in the DM.**


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